October 6, 2014

Oct. 6, 2014

It is strange knowing that this is the last time I will send you an email as a missionary. Yesterday I felt quite weird about the fact that I had finished my mission, but today I woke up with a sense of accomplishment and I knew that I had finished the work I came here to do—almost finished, that is. Tonight we will hold one more baptismal meeting for C, D and K (granddaughter of M. L., who we baptized a couple of weeks ago). So thankfully, I still get to be a missionary for a little bit longer.

I caught all four regular conference sessions but missed the priesthood one because it was transmitted too late in the evening, and mission rules didn’t allow me to attend. But that is all right. Next time I’ll watch it in the conference center with the guys and eat pastrami burgers afterward, so I’m chill. It was fun watching Elder Godoy’s talk in Portuguese. I enjoyed it a lot because there was no translator swallowing words. (Once in a while I didn’t understand something that someone said because of a bad translation).

On Tuesday I went to the temple and met up with all of the guys from my group. That was fun, and it was great seeing everyone again (it had been a while since I’d seen some of them). On Thursday, Elder P. got super sick, so we took him to the hospital, and it turns out he has pneumonia. He has been recovering since then though, and there is no imminent danger. I didn’t exactly want to spend the last few days of my mission at the house, so we organized divisions with the young men so that I could keep working with one while the other took care of P. at home. It wasn’t exactly how I had planned to finish my last week as a missionary, but that’s okay. We got done what we needed to get done.

As for my own personal improvement, I know that I have made a lot of progress, but I’m still me—just a better me. Who knows, seeing as how I’ve been away from everything for so long, when I get home it might feel like (to quote Joe Walsh): “Everybody’s different but I haven’t changed.” Nerk.

I’m excited that the gramps are going to be there when I get home. My welcome home itinerary looks like fun, the most important thing being that I will be with my family. Hmm, this is going to be weird after two years.

Well, I don’t really know what else to say. This last week seems like a dream, and so do these last two years. But either way, I’m done, I did it, I accomplished what I set out to do, and now I’m coming home. I love you guys and I am excited to see you on Thursday.

To finish up, I will quote an Ozzy Osbourne song. Why Ozzy? Because the song fits perfectly, and I invite you to listen to it so that you know the tune. I think that you will like it. It is called “Mama, I’m Comin’ home.” I changed some of the lyrics to meet the occasion, but you will get the idea.

Times have changed and times are strange

Here I come but I ain’t the same

Mama I’m comin’ home

Time passed me by and now it seems

The entire thing was just a dream.

Mama I’m comin’ home.

It’s been so long since I’ve been there

That I don’t know what to say.

But there’s one thing I know for sure

That this time I will stay.

With a swollen heart and tear-filled eyes

I comprehend now how time flies.

Mama I’m comin’ home.

I hope you know, I love you so

When I see you there my tears will flow

Mama I’m comin’ home

Oh Mama, Mama, I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Mission accomplished. My adventure is coming to an end.

There and back again,

Elder Morris

September 30, 2014

Good morning,

As I said yesterday, I will be heading to the temple for the last time with the guys from my group so today will be my P day for the week. I hope that everyone had a good weekend and I hope that everyone is excited because Im coming home. nerk.

We had a good week last week and another baptism. I dont know if you remember J.T., my first baptism here. Well, a couple months back we baptized him and reactivated his family and a couple weeks ago they gave us a referal. We visited the family and met W., J., L. and We., we taught and prepared W. and baptized him Sunday. His parents fell in love with the church and with us and even served us dinner last night. We. is going to go to church this Sunday and probably be baptized next week and his parents, who arent legally married, are going to have to wait a month to be baptized, so I wont be here for the rest of the baptisms in this family but thats okay, I did my part and Im happy to see that they are embracing the gospel. 

I gave my ``farewell talk´´ here in Neópolis on Sunday, seeing as how next week is Conference I asked if I could speak a week early. I spoke about the principles of Zion and thanked everyone for the help and love that they gave me in this area. I usually am not much of a cryer when it comes to speaking in church but this time I couldnt help it. I love these people so much and so I ended up crying in front of everybody, but I wasnt the only one, as I looked out over the pulpit I saw that the Stake President, the B. family, J.T.'s  family, other recent converts and a whole bunch of other members were tearing up as well. There is something about this area and these people that has touched and changed my heart. I formed such a strong friendship with the people in this ward that it will be hard to let them go. But that is they way things are and Im just glad that I was able to be part of Ala Neópolis for these last three months. 

On Friday I was able to swing by my areas in Canoas. First I went to Rio Branco, said hi to the Elders, ate lunch with a family there and took a picture or two with a recent convert. Then I headed to Estância Velha, my first area. Another family gave us lunch there too (what can I say, they love me, nerk) and then we visited the D. family (that was sealed last month) and then ate dinner with the M.´s. We had a great time at their house and when we got there they were doing seminary so I got to see a lot of the people from the ward. We ended up missing the bus back so we crashed at the missionaries´ house there in Estância (where Elder R. is working, my former companion). We headed back the next morning. It was great to be back in my first area and say hi to some of the people. The talk we had with the D. family was great too. We talked about the plan of salvation, the sealing power and Gods plan for us. The family is doing well and have been going to the temple regularly, so they will be all right. 

To finish up and somewhat paraphrase the Barenaked Ladies:

It´s just one week and Ill be home

It´s been two years since I left out on my own

In just seven days Ill catch the plane

Ill be heading home to reap the R.M. fame...

Almost there,

Elder Morris

September 22, 2014

From two years to two weeks:

I woke up with a strange mix of feelings this morning that has continued with me until now. As I said earlier this morning, a couple buddies from my MTC group are here in my area passing the P-day with me, and seeing them again and receiving my official itinerary from the mission office left me thinking, “Has it really been two years? Was it really 22 months ago when I was with these guys in the MTC? Am I really finishing my mission? Where did the time go?”

Looking back over the last two years, I can say that I wasn’t perfect—in fact, far from it. But if I did reach perfection in one field of my life as a missionary, it would be the fact that I worked. I always worked. Even when things (for the lack of a better word) sucked, I worked. I take pride in that. I always gave it everything I had, and I am grateful for that. Now that I am here, “at the end of all things” (to quote the Lord of the Rings), I feel sad, but I live without regrets.

To answer Mom’s question, yes, there were days that lasted for ever. At the time it seemed like it would never end. But the years have flown by. I feel sad, actually. The love I have for the members and recent converts here is incredible, unmatched. As I have said, Neópolis has been my favorite area. Now that I can see the end, I realize that there really is no going back. After I catch that flight, I will never again be here as a missionary, and I will never again be able to do what I am doing now. I will never again feel the way that I do as an authorized representative of Jesus Christ, and honestly, I don’t know what to think.

Returning to the missionary work here, things are still going well. Sorry if I gave you the impression that the baptisms of C. and D. would be my last baptisms here; what I meant is that they would literally be my last baptisms here, seeing as how they will be baptized the day before I leave this area. We still have a few possibilities for baptisms over the next two weeks and, everything working out right, we should be able to baptize a couple of people this Sunday. Our baptism for this past Sunday fell through because the mother of the person we were going to baptize changed her mind and decided that her daughter should wait “for three or four more years to see if this is really what she wants.” Way to go. Oh well, unfortunately we can’t force parents to want their children to be blessed.

This week we were knocking doors, and we met a woman who is apparently married to an inactive member of the Church. We left a Book of Mormon with her and marked to go back. When we arrived at her house again, we met her husband, who when seeing us, smiled, invited us in and explained how he was so excited to see that his wife had met the missionaries and that she had received a Book of Mormon, “the best present anyone can get,” he said. He then started to teach his wife about the book and told her how she would be a great Relief Society president and a whole lot of other things that she didn’t understand. The point is, he is super excited for us to teach his wife, and apparently he had been wanting to become active again in the Church, but he just needed a little push. (Something somewhat tragic happened in his life a while back, which led him to start smoking, which led to embarrassment, which led to him going inactive). So, super missionaries away. Nerk. We are going to reactivate him, baptize his wife and, here in a year, seal them in the temple. That’s the plan anyway.

I am going to ask for permission from the president to go back to Canoas this Friday to visit my first and also my seventh areas. I will visit the family that was sealed a couple of weeks back and a few other people I baptized. The Motta family (the coolest family in Canoas) said they would make us a churrasco that night, so be jelly, be very jelly.

But that is about it for now, so I’m going to have to run. I love you all! In two weeks I am home.

Beijos,

Elder Morris

September 15, 2014

Interesting. Over the last few weeks and even months the only word in the English language that I found adequate to describe how it must feel completing an honorable full-time mission was glorious. The quote that you sent seems to describe the feeling perfectly.

[Here's the quote I sent him: "A lifetime of glory is worth a moment of pain" (from the book Unbroken.]

Speaking of finishing strong, we had two more baptisms on Sunday. We baptized a reference of the second counselor in the bishopric named M. and I., the grandmother of Ma., who we baptized about six weeks ago. M. is the mother and grandmother of many people, so we have a lot of potential to baptize futuristically there.

We started teaching M. about three weeks ago, and she is definitely someone who was prepared by God to be baptized. For her entire life she was searching for the truth. She went from church to church looking for it. She was Catholic, Jehovah’s witness, Evangelic, Adventista do Sétimo Dia and several others, but the first time she went to The Church of Jesus Christ, she “fell in love with it.” It was only a matter of how quickly we could teach her everything she wanted to know.

I., who’s 75, was Catholic since birth, but she has such a great love for Ma. and always wants to be with him that she decided to let us teach her, help her to stop smoking and be baptized. It took a little longer than we had hoped, but everything worked out in the end.

I’m happy to hear that the gramps from both sides with be coming up to visit in October. It will be great seeing them all again. I’m super excited to be home for the holidays this year. Just thinking ahead, my homecoming will be the 9th of October, my talk with be the 19th, fall break is in there somewhere, my birthday is the 27th, Rachel’s birthday is the 3rd of November, Thanksgiving and Michelle’s birthday follow, along with Christmas and New Year’s. Looks like we are going to party like its 1999.

Months and transfers back I was afraid that when I got to my last transfer that I would start to lose the focus, but thankfully the Lord has put me in a such a good area that, as Dad said, I’m too busy to get trunky. There are so many people here with baptismal potential that I don’t have time to waste. Also, the members here love us and are impressed with our work (before A. got here there were only lazy, slacker missionaries for a long time, so the ward didn’t have any baptisms), and all of them are starting to give us references (and extra food too, oh yeah). This area has turned out to be my favorite. I’ll never forget Neópolis.

It’s starting to get hot here, that is true. I’m grateful that I’ll be able to leave the heat of Brazil to go snowboarding in the snow of Utah. I think you all will recall that the summers here are absolutely miserable.

Well, that about does it for me this week. I’m almost there—24 days until I touchdown. Love you all!

Elder Morris

September 8, 2014

Good morning:

Things are going all right here in Neópolis. We are working hard, maintaining high goals and preparing several people for baptism, but it seems like the baptism is always just out of reach. Our baptism fell through yesterday because A., who we were going to baptize, went out of town for three days to visit her dying aunt in the hospital. Bummer for everybody. I honestly got kind of frustrated this week because I feel like I am doing everything I can to finish strong, but the blessings of the Lord are dodging me. Well, maybe I can’t say that. We had a pretty cool experience with a couple that we are preparing for baptism that I will share in a bit, but I still feel like I am being tested to the maximum. I’m so close, as everybody is telling me now, but four weeks is still four weeks, and it’s going to take everything I’ve got to finish strong, but I’ll figure it out.

So, we have been teaching a couple, C. and D., for three weeks. (I think I told you about them last week, how I felt inspired to knock a door but didn’t and then I contacted D., the person who lives at the house, on the street, etc.). Anyway, they aren’t legally married, so in order to marry them, we have to swim through the corruption of Brazilian politics, which included paying 200 bucks (which we got out of, thanks to an old Brazilian law and two years worth of mission experience) and waiting for 30 days in order to actually get married. I knew about the time period, which worried me because I only had about 30 days left as a missionary when I went to the town hall with them.

After we had done the initial paperwork, the woman at the desk said to us, “Okay, so we have two possible dates here, the 6th or the 9th of October.” My heart jumped and my mind raced. “What day was I going to leave again?” Then I remembered that I would head to Porto Alegre on the 7th, so I blurted out, “The 6th, the 6th will do.” So, on literally my last day of my mission, the 6th of October, we will marry them and I will participate in my last baptisms as a missionary in Brazil. Cool, huh?

So, for these last four weeks, my plans are to just endure to the end and finish strong. It’s tough sometimes, though, I will admit. It’s hard sometimes to stay focused and care about people who often rudely reject you. I know that the time will pass quickly, and I want to be able to say, like I can say up to this point, that I have given everything I’ve got. I liked the journal entry that Dad sent. It’s cool how I am now in his shoes 37 years later. 

Well, I love you all. Here in two weeks I will get the trunky email about my plane flight. You guys will too, so we will be able to start planning some things. I miss you! I’ll be home very, very soon.

Love,

Elder Morris

September 1, 2014

Sept. 1, 2014

“Happy Anniversary [Daddy], I’ve got you on my mind. Happy Anniversary [Mommy], I’ve got you on my mind.”

A little Little River Band for you. So I forgot to wish you a happy anniversary last week, so I’ll do it now. Happy Anniversary! I hope that you had a good day, a good dinner and that here in three weeks a good getaway.

So I’m down to my last companion, Elder P., from Terra do Fogo, Argentina. He has about five months on his mission, and he just got transferred out of a really crappy area where he didn’t have much success, so I’m hoping to get him a couple of baptisms while I’m here. Elder P. is from Ushuaia, where you, Dad, went to interview a couple of people and write some articles a few years back. If I am not mistaken, you wrote an article about a lighthouse and another about temple marriages. Elder P. kept the articles and has them with him to this day, and when he found out that it was my dad that wrote them, well, he thought that was kind of cool.

Elder A. was transferred to Passo Fundo, to the area that I guessed he would go to. He is a district leader there, which is cool and good for him, but I really am missing him. Elder P. is good and all, but Elder A. and I had a closeness that few of my other companions had. We got along perfectly and worked very well together. Elder P. is still kind of green, so I’m going to have to train him a bit, something that I didn’t have to do with Elder A.. Oh well, it’s my last transfer anyway, so I’ll try and help him out a bit.

On a sadder note, Thursday morning I got a call from a brother in my first area informing me that J., the son of that family that was sealed last week, had a heart attack and passed away. Brother M. invited me to attend the funeral, so we caught a bus and took the 40-minute trip from Neópolis to my first area, where we attended the funeral. Brother M., the guy who called me, spoke at the funeral and talked about missions, purpose and God’s timing. I had the opportunity to give the closing prayer, and afterward I spoke with the family for a bit and did my best to comfort them.

Walking back from the burial, Brother M. said, “Elder Morris, think on this, you came all the way from the United States to find, teach, baptize and seal this family. You saw and helped J's mission start and finish (he served faithfully in his priesthood calling passing the sacrament every Sunday in a wheel chair), you helped him fulfill his calling in life. Few people, few missionaries have the opportunity to do that.”

It was a sad day and it seems like death has a nag in following me around, but I find comfort in the fact that less than a week before his passing, J. was sealed for time and all eternity to his family, that he has only been “transferred” temporarily, and that soon he will be together with his family, perfected, for ever.

So we found this cool couple here, C. and D., that are super excited about the Church. We are going to marry them and then baptize them in a couple of weeks. They might end up being my last baptisms as a missionary. How we found them was pretty cool. One day we passed in front of their house and I felt like I should knock there, but we were in a hurry so we kept going. The next day I contacted D. on the street, and we went to visit them shortly thereafter. They went to church and started to read the Book of Mormon (C. already has read up to Alma), and they are both super excited about the Church. So it is plain to see that I still have work to do here. I’m going strong, but it is difficult. I’m almost done though and as President Wright likes to say to me, “Keep going, soon the mission will just be a memory.”

So that is about it for me. I love you all and I am super excited to be coming home. Be safe!

Love,

Elder Morris

August 25, 2014

“Somewhere out on that horizon, out beyond the neon lights, [I know I’m getting closer, and my home is in my sight].”

Okay, so I had to change the Eagles’ lyrics a little bit, but what do you want from me? I only have six weeks left.

We had a good final week of the transfer, but unfortunately we weren’t able to baptize the people we were planning on baptizing because they still have problems with coffee. But we will keep working with them. If we had baptized again, Elder A. and I would have had a transfer of excellence. Oh well.

The coolest thing that happened this week was the sealing that I went to. The D. family was a family that Elder W. and I baptized in my first area, a year and three months ago. I had never seen a sealing before, but it was the most satisfying thing I have ever done as a missionary. As I watched the family kneel around the altar and be sealed for time and eternity, all of the pain, frustration, exhaustion, and rejection of the mission that I have experienced over the last two years all faded away, and I knew that it had all been worth it. After they had been sealed, C. (the mother) came up to me, smiled and said, “Thank you for never giving up on us.” (The first couple of times that we visited them, she hid from us.) Then J. (the father) shook my had and said, “Remember, it was you and Elder W. who started it all. Thank you.” It was an incredible feeling, and it took a little while to fall asleep later that night because I was trying to comprehend the greatness of what had just happened.

Turns out, Elder A. is going to be transferred. He is going to go from junior companion to district leader. He is a fantastic missionary, so it didn’t come as a surprise to me. As for me, I’ll just stay here in Neópolis, but I won’t train. Only two elders came in this transfer, so only two elders out of about a 100 will train. Elder R. will be one of them, which is good because he wanted to train again.

This morning I awoke feeling a little different. I knew that I had just started my last transfer and I knew that I would finish my mission here. It’s weird to think about. No more transfers, no more new areas, no more leadership positions, no more companions, etc. After six weeks, that is it, no more. It was an exciting but also kind of sad feeling. I’m more than ready to go home, but I have grown to love my companions, the members and recent converts so much that I don’t really know how I will react when I no longer do what I am doing. But at the same time, it’s all right. I have done my part, and I have always given everything that I have, so I will be able to finish knowing that I gave my all.

I’ll try to take a couple of pictures like the ones requested, but this week I have a pretty cool set of pictures to send you. On Saturday, Elder A. and I hiked Mount Itacolomi and took some pretty sweet pics. See my other email.

So that is about it for this week. I’m “coming up around bend,” as CCR likes to say, and I’ll be home before I know it. Just lower the head and power through. Let’s see if I can get a few more baptisms out of it.

Love you!

Elder Morris

August 18, 2014

Happy Party Week!

I’m glad to hear that your birthdays went well and that you were able to leave the daily routine for a bit to enjoy yourselves. Your anniversary is next week, right? (The 30th?) More fun to come I suppose.

We had another good week here. We had another baptism on Sunday. We have been teaching S. (age 45), the man we baptized, for almost two months now. Many years ago everyone else in his family was baptized, but he didn’t want to at the time. For a long time he had been searching for “the truth” and “a greater purpose” but never found it. He has struggled with depression and other related health problems for a while, but when we found him and began to teach him he started to improve. Specifically in the last three weeks I have seen a huge change in him. The way he acts, looks and talks shows that the gospel has enlightened him. Even his countenance, his literal countenance, has changed. His face emulates a light, where before there was only darkness. It has been a great experience helping one of my Brazilian brothers come to the truth and happiness found in the true church of Jesus Christ.

I haven’t gone to the sealing yet. I’ll do that this week. I’ll make sure to send pics.

I’m going to have to cut this email short because we have to cut our hair before lunch, so we gotta run, but things are going well here. The Lord is blessing us, and we are doing our best to just work away the days.

Love you!

Elder Morris

August 11, 2014

Well . . . that . . . just . . . sucks. I can’t believe that I missed Boston by two months. TWO FREAKING MONTHS and I would have watched my favorite band of all time play at the USANA. Que bosta. I’m totally jelly. Look, I don’t know when they will be passing through Utah again, but I saw that they have a show scheduled for October 9 in Tokyo. What do you think, Dad—want to catch the first plane out of Salt Lake with me to Tokyo the day I touch down in Utah? I’m totally gone.

Well, while y’all were rocking, I was baptizing. We had another baptism on Sunday. Loislaine (yeah, like Lois Lane from Superman; I’m on a roll here baptizing Brazilians named after famous Americans) is someone who has kind of been a member for a long time but wasn’t. Apparently she was baptized 8 years ago, but there are no records that this ever happened. And if she was baptized and not confirmed or if she was baptized, confirmed but never recorded on the records of the Church, in the Church’s eyes, she is not a member. Whatever the case, now she is officially a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Boo yah, we are still rolling.

As we all do, I have my highs and lows here regarding what happened, but work helps me to keep focused. Having a baptism to focus on every week really helps, and I feel that it is God’s way of helping me to finish strong. My time is winding down, and I know that soon I’ll be home. I’m very excited, but I know that eight weeks is still eight weeks. I’ll get there soon.

I am going to go to the temple tomorrow. That should help me as well, and here in a bit I should be able to go to the temple to watch the sealing of a family I baptized in my first area, so that is exciting. All in all, I’m doing all right.

My comp. is great. I would love to finish my mission with him, but the president might have me train. But who knows—I’m going to talk to him about it this week.

Anyway, that is about it for me this week, I love you all. Stay safe, keep pushing forward.

I’m just going to “Walk On,” and I “[Won’t] Look Back.”

Elder Morris

August 4, 2014

Well, another week down and another investigator in the water. Sunday night we baptized M., a 15-year-old kid who is B's friend (the guy we baptized two weeks ago). He was resistant the first time that he was taught by Elder A. a couple of months ago, but now, out of nowhere, he decided that he wanted to be baptized. We are teaching his mother and grandmother as well, both of whom have a lot of potential (M's mom cried at his baptism). So here in a couple of weeks we are planning on baptizing them too. The Lord has been blessing us with lots of people to teach and lots of baptisms this transfer (we have got one or two baptisms lined up for next Sunday too). This is a fantastic area for me to finish my mission in.

One thing I couldn’t help but comment on this week is that I just wanted to say how grateful I am for the family I have. Every day I teach dysfunctional families who bicker, fight and separate over either little, stupid, immature things or huge family problems (cheating, etc.), and I just can’t help but be grateful and happy for the family and life that I have. So, Mom and Dad, thank you for everything. Thank you for the happiness you have given me, and congratulations on the family you have created.

I’m totally jelly that two months before I get home, my favorite band [Boston] is touring in Utah. Make Michelle film “More than a Feeling” for me. I want to hear how they sound. Take lots of pictures too. I’ll do the best that I can to be there in spirit..

I’m happy that I am here in this ward. It is a great ward in a great area, and I’m with a great companion. I am pretty sure that Elder A. will be transferred (he is more than qualified to be senior companion now) so I’ve got one more comp waiting for me. We will just wait and see. But for now we are just going to keep working and keep baptizing.

I love you all. Stay strong.

I understand about indecision

But I don’t care if I get behind.

People livin’ in competition

All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Elder Morris

July 28, 2014

Good morning:

I’m happy to hear that Sister Wright has been keeping in contact with you. She has been calling me regularly in order to help me along the way. She has been a very good “mission mom.” I feel the lack of family at my side, but Elder A. has been my brother, and Sister Wright, my mission mother, so I’m doing all right.

Thankfully, the Lord has been blessing us with a lot of work and baptisms, which have been helping me to stay focused. We baptized again on Sunday. I have found that it only hurts when you stop moving; in other words, while I have been busy working and thinking about and focusing on baptisms, I haven’t allowed myself much time to grieve. The antidote that I am trying to utilize is distraction. I’m honestly doing the best that I can to just not think about what has happened, and I’m reserving these thoughts for when I come home and will be close to my family. So far, I have been able to scrape along. Only ten more weeks left.

We baptized B. and J. last week, and we baptized N. this week. B. and N. are family members of a recent convert. We have been working with this family since I have been here, and they have been supplying friends and family members for us to teach (we will baptize a reference of theirs next week). J. is the 11-year-old son of an inactive family that we are reactivating. His baptism has helped with that. I have really been liking this area. It’s calm, the members are great, and it’s close to Porto Alegre, so I won’t have to travel much at the end of my mission.

I’m hoping that Mark can come back for my homecoming, and I would love to hike the hot pots with you guys. I will add that to my list of things to do when I get home.

Elder A. and I are getting along really well. He was trained by Elder S. (a guy from my group, a good friend and one of the best missionaries in the mission), so we are able to work effectively together, which is really nice. He has already been in this area for three months, so I imagine that I have one more companion waiting for me. We will see.

That is about it for now. I’m doing all right, and I hope that everyone at home is too. I love you all and I pray for you. I’m almost home.

Love, Elder Morris

July 21, 2014

[On July 12, my oldest brother, Chris, was killed in an accident. As this has been so hard for all of us, it is especially hard for Michael, as he is away from us. Prayers for him are greatly appreciated.]


Another wave of pain has washed over me. As I sat and read details about the funeral, the obituary and discurse that were offered, reality came crashing down, once again, over my mind. For a little while I was able to pretend that nothing had happened, I pushed reality away from me, not accepting it. I stayed extremely busy this weekend, teaching and preparing people for baptism, and this helped me to keep my focus turned away from the tragedy at home. But as I read your words, Mom and Dad, I see now that it wasnt a dream, as I had hoped and falsy created in the inner chambers of my mind. 

As I said to you while skyping, I dont believe that the magnitude of this has quite hit me yet and I dont believe it fully will until I am at home. I only have one other experience to compare this with, and that would be the passing of Michael Frost. When Michael died, my life, my day to day, changed immediately. Our interaction happened at a daily basis, we talked, texted, hung out, etc. so the immediate affects where big. Here in my mission, my external life and actions have remained the same since Chris passed. I am still doing the same thing and I am still thousands of miles away from everything. My communication with him was limited to email, which we exchanged on a monthly basis. So, it is hard for me to understand, to comprehend, exactly how I will feel when I return, when he is not there waiting for me in the airport. 

I pushed through the week, literally pretending that it didnt happen; that it was a story or that somehow it wasnt permanent or a big deal and that in one way way or another Chris would still be there when I get back. But now I am beginning to realize that, in regards to this life, it is permanent, that there is no respawn or way of going back in time, and this frustrates me and makes me feel powerless to help the ones that I love. 

I am working as hard as I can, honestly more because of the fact that I want the time to pass than the desire to help people. I just want to be home. I feel like I am living in a state of irony because I am here, working to ``save´´ people while back home my loved ones arent being ``saved´´ but, quite on the contrary, are dying. I feel like it is some kind of sick joke that I am being forced to live in. 

Putting aside all of what happened mentally, emotionally and spiritually, the week was a successful one. We baptized two people and had many investigators at church. Thankfully I have something to focus on: baptisms. The harder I work to baptize someone the less time I have to think about what has happened and it helps me to remain stable. 

Elder A. is being a good companion to me as well. He has spoken with me about how he felt and what he went through when his father died. His father was also taken unexpectedly and he has expressed his insight on the matter. He has been helping me. We talked about it a lot for the first three days after the incident but since then I havent wanted to. Its easier, for now, to not talk about it and to just work. 

I am doing the best that I can to keep going. I really, really just want to be home but I know that God has work left for me to do here so Ill endure to the end the best that I can.

I re-read a book called The Message by Lance Richardson, that Sister Frost gave me after Michael passed away. I would recommend it to all. It short but insightful and helps me understand that Chris is all right and that he is at peace, even though right now, just talking about it, hurts. 

To close today I just want to direct my testimony to my mother. Mom, I know that this is hard, extremely hard and its not something that a mother should ever have to go through but I know that it will be all right. I know that Chris lives, before the mission I believed that there was life after death but now I know it. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that because of Him, all of us will live again. I know that God is merciful, I have seen His mercy in my mission. I know that the family is eternal, not just because of what the Spirit has told me but also logic. I know that the pain will fade but the memory and love will remain the same. I know that God created for us, a plan of happiness and that, as strange as it seems, a part of that plan is death. God loves us, he knows us. We are his children. He will never abandon us.

All of my love,

Elder Morris

July 7, 2014

Happy Fourth of July nada. Elder R. and I didn’t get to do anything other than proselyting. We tried to order a pizza when the day ended, but the guy ended up losing our order, so we went to bed hungry. Major bummer, right? Oh well, next year I’ll be grilling with you, gramps. Nerk.

Yeah, it was a bummer that we didn’t get to baptize C. She is starting to flake out on us now actually, but we were able to baptize her niece this Sunday. Boo yah. We closed Sunday with another week of excellence, so we did all right. There is only one more week in the transfer, and Elder R. and I want to baptize a couple more people this next Sunday together because chances are one of us is out of here. We have got some people with potential, so we will see how things work out. I don’t know what the deal is, but it seems like I never get to stay with my favorite companions for more than a transfer. Lame. There is a chance he will stay, but he has been a zone leader for seven months, so the president will probably release him and have him train. We will see. I hope he stays here though.

As for L's baptism, yes, I actually got to stay and watch it. It was pretty cool. It left me with one of those good feelings that only God can give. As for our travel as zone leaders, we do at least two divisions every week with the elders in our zone, and sometimes we are called to resolve a problem or do an interview last second. I like being a zone leader for the following reasons: good companion, lots of work, and the time passes quickly. There are a couple of things that I don’t like about being a zone leader, but I’ll wait until I’m home to tell you about those things. 

Elder R. celebrated his birthday on Thursday. It ended up being pretty funny. The other elders and I made a cake for him the night before (with help from an irmã in the ward), but during the day three other people made him cakes too (at lunch, at a recent convert’s house, etc.). So by the time we got home we were pretty full of cake, but we surprised him with it anyway and sang happy birthday to him. Because we weren’t that hungry, we decided to have some fun with the cake and eat it without using our hands. So there we were, the four of us with our faces covered in cream when Elder R. decided to smash Elder S's face into the cake. One thing led to another, and before we knew it, we were involved in a full-fledged food fight. Cake was flying, people were slipping, and the memory will always remain with me. (And, yes, we did clean up afterward even though it took over an hour—totally worth it. Nerk.)

The maple and the cream or tarter are still holding strong, but the Brazilian elders in the house like it a little too much—more than the Americans it seems—so I doubt the maple will make it out alive.

I noticed that you guys haven’t been trying to make me get too trunky, but I knew that that line of defense would break before long. I have to admit, it is exciting to be almost done, and with only three months left, I’m pretty close. But honestly, I’m not trunky at all. I’m sure that as time goes on, especially when I enter my last transfer, that the trunkiness will augment, but for now I am managing to stay focused on the work. However, there are some Brazilian cultural things that are starting to wear on me, and I lose patience with those things (dogs, lies, people hiding instead of telling you “no,” —you know, the usual). But overall, I’m doing fine.

Will it be warm enough to do a Moab trip when I get back? I want to bike and river raft a bit before it gets cold. The pics made me jelly.

Anyway, I’ll send some pics and videos now. I love you!

Elder Morris

June 3, 2014

Oh, that’s right. I forgot that this week is the Fourth of July. Bummer. Once again I will miss a classic American holiday. I guess Elder R. and I will have to do a little partying of our own. I wonder if they sell fireworks here.

This week we were all set to baptize a woman named C., who was a referral from a member family who lives close to her. She went to church last week, and we taught her everything. The only difficulty she has is with smoking. She only smokes one or two cigarettes a day, which is very little. She didn’t smoke Friday, passed the interview and was set to be baptized. We went back Saturday morning to make sure everything was cool, which it seemed like it was. We then returned at 6:00 that night just to check up on her. When we got there, she said she didn’t think that she should be baptized on Sunday, but she never told us why.

For an hour and a half we read scriptures, bore testimony and used the techniques of our Xeque Mate program, but it didn’t work. Finally she told us that she had smoked a cigarette 10 minutes before we had gotten there, and that is why she didn’t want to be baptized. One stinking cigarette. So that left Elder R. and me very frustrated. We spent an hour and a half in her house just for her to tell us that she had smoked. So our baptism fell through. Major bummer, mate.

But on a happier note, Friday night I did an interview with a young man named L. in another area. He was all set to be baptized and everything went well, but then Saturday morning the missionaries (Elder A., who was with me in Canela) from that area called me and said that L. didn’t want to be baptized anymore and that they wanted me to “dar um jeito” (make it happen) with him. So I headed back to Mathias Velho to do an emergency interview. I invited L. to the chapel and I sat down with him in front of the full baptismal font, and we talked.

He told me about how he didn’t think he was ready to be baptized because he didn’t think he would be able to keep all of the commandments (not because he has a problem with anything but he thought that he had to be perfect). I didn’t really know how to explain to him about the difference between perfection and striving to do your best in a way that he would understand, so I said a prayer and just started to talk. As I was talking, words that I hadn’t planned on using started to come out of my mouth. I just kept talking, not knowing what I would say next but knowing that I was being guided by the Spirit. In the end, L. looked at me, smiled and said, “All right, let me see the baptismal clothes. I’ll go change. I want to be baptized.” So, even though we weren’t able to baptize in Rio Branco, God helped me help the Elders in Mathias Velho to baptize.

As for the two guys we baptized last week, they were confirmed on Sunday, so that was good. To answer your question, I now have 21 weeks of excellence. That means I just need 3 more to meet my goal. Almost there.

I dig the pics from the Venture trip. They brought back memories. I can’t believe that Sam is now at that age where I was. (We did our trip before I graduated, to answer your question). Crazy how time passes.

Well, I’m honestly going to have to run. I’ll send pics and video here in a bit. The time on the Internet passed really fast today. But I love you all, and as Michelle informed me today, I now have less than 100 days to go. Que bênção.

Love to all!

Elder Morris

June 23, 2014

June 23, 2014

Good morning:

By the picture you sent [of snow on the mountains last Tuesday], it looks like we are both enjoying a rather wintery week, although thankfully, this morning wasn’t too cold.

Well, after the week before last’s porcaria, this week turned out rather well. After a month without baptizing, Elder R. and I were finally able to bring down two batismos Sunday afternoon. A couple of weeks back, T. and M. (cousins) contacted us on the street and asked us about the soccer games that the ward always has at the chapel. We invited them to come play, and they did. Last Sunday we took them to church and this week their parents (who progress slowly because of their work schedules) signed their baptism form so they could be baptized. So, after a very unsuccessful period of a few weeks, Elder R. and I baptized two people and got the week of excellence. Que coisa boa. It was like a breath of fresh air, and today I can rest satisfied.

So, yeah, I’m feeling much better now.

I’m totally jelly about the concert. I love America [the band], and I really want to see them again too. I still can’t believe that I will miss Boston by six weeks. I'm counting on that concert you promised me.

I liked the quote you sent me from Matthew Holland [below]. It is totally true, and many times on my mission I have felt those same pains, but with only three months left to go, it gets easier. After all, I’m about to leave that tunnel. I can already see the light.

So, yeah, the World Cup is going strong down here, and because of that we have to say in our house sometimes. It gets dangerous, apparently. In fact, today we will have the whole day as P-day because there is a game tonight. Que bênção.

Anyway, I love you!

Elder Morris

Matthew Holland quote:

"If now, or in some future day, you look around and see that some peers seem to be progressing more rapidly than you are with the language and discussions; if you ever feel passed over for leadership positions; if visa issues send you north when you were called south; if well-meaning actions somehow lead to disaster with companions, ward members, and mission leaders; if, after months of emotional and devoted teaching, a golden investigator leaves a copy of the Book of Mormon on the porch and refuses to answer the door; if an unexpected illness holds you back from service far longer than you anticipated; if news from home brings word of financial setback and mortal mishaps you can do nothing about; or if, day after day, you simply feel like a bland and beaten background player in a mission drama made for the happiness of others, just know this: many such things were the lot of one of the greatest of the Lord’s prophets at the very moment he was being led to the stage of the single most triumphant thing to happen on this earth since the events of Golgotha and the Garden Tomb nearly 2,000 years earlier."

June 16, 2014

June 16, 2014

Good morning,

First of all, I hope that you had a fun Father’s Day. The letter that I sent came from my heart, and I hope that both of you, Mom and Dad, understand the love and respect I have for you. Sounds like you had a fun day. 

Well, I have to say that this week was quite a trial for Elder R. and me. We worked very, very hard and gave everything we had in preparation to having a successful Sunday with several baptisms, but everything came falling down in the end. In the beginning of the week we had five baptisms marked for this Sunday. Two of them moved out of nowhere, and we have no idea where they went. One of them gave up (the girl I told you about), one of the mothers didn’t let her daughter be baptized, and the other one went to a party Saturday night and stayed out until 4:00 a.m. So she didn’t go to church, and then she left with her family for the day. All five baptisms came crashing down last minute, and this left Elder R. and me rather frustrated.

I even called the president and asked him why things like this happen. He gave some good advice and reviewed with us some things about opposition and trials and it helped a little bit, but I’m still frustrated. Elder R. and I said to each other last night, “Well, I hope that my family was blessed a lot this week because we sure as heck didn’t get much out of it.” So, if something special happened this week or if some prayer was answered, maybe it was because of our sacrifice here. Who knows?

Other than the trials, we are having a fun time at least. I like what Mom said: “It’s great to hear you’re in a fun foursome again, with two of the MTC group to bring you back to the beginning as you approach the end.” They are great guys and, as I have said before, I have a great companion, which is the secret to a good mission, even when the times get tough.

I had an interview with the president last week, and I asked him what he thought about me staying in this area for one more transfer. He said he can’t promise anything, but he will see what he can do. I have been transferred so much that I would like to settle down for a little bit in an area and create some friendships with the members so that I can start baptizing their friends. We will see what happens but either way, at most, I’ve got one area left.

I’m glad to hear that Grandma and Granddad are getting better and that Mom had a good, safe trip. I hope that this fall I’ll be able to visit all of the gramps again. What are the family’s plans for Christmas?

Tomorrow I’m going to go to the temple for the first time in almost six months. It will be really nice to sit and talk with God in the celestial room. I feel like I need a little bit of a spiritual kick-start to carry me through the rest of my mission.

I have to admit that I am really tired. The mission age is getting to me. I woke up half dead today. “And you know it’s getting stronger, [I] can’t last very much longer, [I’m feeling stoned]” (Joe Walsh). Nerk. But “I’ll make out somehow, son”

Anyway, I’ve got to run. Hopefully, next week there is a picture of someone dressed in white attached to the email.

To answer your questions: the weather isn’t too bad; sometimes it rains like heck, but today is fine. 

Love to all!

Enduring to the end,

Elder Morris

June 8, 2014

“You can see your breath, your nose is cold, the [heater don’t work], the pipes are froze, it’s winter, [freaking] winter.”

Yeah, although good weather comes around once in a while during winter in Canoas, every morning now it is pretty cold—nothing like Utah yet but cold nonetheless.

Well, Elder A. headed out last Tuesday, and he is actually serving in an area where I have already served: Venâncio Aires. I will miss him, but I think I lucked out with my new companion. My companion, Elder R. from Tennessee, started the mission with me and is from my MTC group. We were companions for two weeks in my first area when his companion went home a little early to start college. I’ve know him since day one, since he lived in the same dorm as me in the MTC. He is a super cool guy. We have been friends since the beginning and I’m excited to be working with him here. Also, Elder Ro., who is also from my MTC group (Brazilian) and his greenie companion, Elder S., are splitting the area with us. So it’s pretty cool. There is nobody weird, we are all friends and we are all trabalhadores.

This week was, as Elder R. and I concluded, a “test of our faith.” One of our baptisms fell through and the other one went to the other elders because, after the division, she lives in their area. Also, one of the people that we want to baptize next week didn’t go to church on Sunday because he hurt his knee. Besides this, on Tuesday I had stomach problems, on Thursday I got super sick with a cold and had to sleep all day (I’m better now though), and this week I also got bit by a dog—twice. Crappy week, right? But we kept on working and at 7:00 p.m. Sunday we met a friend of a member who was going to be baptized a few months back but wasn’t because her stepfather didn’t let her. But now her stepfather has separated from her mother, so she will be able to be baptized next Sunday. It’s an eternal principle that I have learned here on the mission that if you endure to the end (end of the day, week or transfer, etc.) God always blessed you with success.

I liked your high school story. Even though it has only been three years since I graduated, it is strange how fast the time has passed. Three years ago last week (June 3) Ben and I threw a party at his house, and the whole class was there. Everyone stayed up until 2 a.m. eating, laughing, playing games and messing around. After everyone else hit the sack, Ben and I stayed up talking until 5 a.m. We talked about future plans, girls, mission, etc. It’s weird to think that so much has happened since then. I can’t believe it has passed so fast.

I hope Mom is enjoying her stay in Phoenix. I imagine that it’s hotter than poop. I’m sure that Grandma and Granddad will be grateful for her help and will enjoy her company. 

Anyway, I’m going to wrap it up for now. We have to send in a relatório. Say hi to Grandma and Granddad for me, Mom.

I love you!

Elder Morris

June 2, 2014

Good morning:

Well, transfers are in and Elder A. is out of here. Bummer. But we both saw it coming, and he has been in this area for a long time, so there is nothing we can do about it. I really have enjoyed working with him though. He has been my favorite companion and, as he informed me last week, I have been his favorite as well. We got along perfectly, and we are already planning on visiting one another after the mission. 

We weren’t able to baptize anyone this week. The person we were preparing “fugiu” (fled). We were teaching a woman named M. and she has already gone to church and was excited about the baptism, but then this week she disappeared. She doesn’t pick up when we call and she is never at home when we swing by. Our theory is that a relative spoke badly about the church, so she doesn’t want to learn more. And what is super annoying about Brazilians is that instead of just telling you that they don’t want to be visited anymore, they hide and pretend like they died. But I’m used to that by now. Só vai.

I’m glad to hear that the grandparents are recovering. But as you said: “When your mother and I lose our parents, then she and I will take their place as the grandparents of the family. When did we get so old? It makes us sad, but it’s all part of the plan of salvation.” I have thought about that for a long time—ever since I was a kid, I have worried about the day when our grandparents would leave us. The love that I have for them is great, and I just hope that the good Lord continues to bless them for a while longer.

I didn’t know that the Andersons were moving. That is a bummer. I really like Brother Anderson. We had a lot of good times together in Young Men, including that campout you mentioned. What is funny is that just this week I told Elder Araújo about that time how you played Boston to wake us up (we were telling funny stories one night). He found it amusing. Elder A. also has good taste in music, and sometimes when we are walking down the street I catch him whistling “Wind of Change,” by the Scorpions. I think we were best friends in the pre-existence.

But yeah, that is about it for now. Next week I’ll fill you in about the new comp and whatnot, but until then I’m just going to “carry on.”

Lots of love,

Elder Morris